I've Never Witnessed So Much Bonding
Hi Truthtellers. Mak here.
Since I began teaching Radical Honesty in 2017, I’ve sat with lots of groups and seen incredible transformation occur, over and over, within the span of just a few days.
We often say in Radical Honesty circles that by the end of a workshop, a group of perfect strangers will have fallen in love with one another.
And yet, in the 5 years I’ve been leading groups, I’ve never seen the level of bonding over shared pain that I was privileged to witness amongst the women at my most recent retreat in Tulum, which was specifically geared towards romantic and sexual relationships.
Listed as a “Couples Retreat,” about half of the participants showed up with a significant other, and the rest came as singles. Whether coupled or not, the women of this particular retreat formed a connection and affinity for one another in a way that I have yet to witness.
The hugs, the “I love you’s,” the weeping and screaming, and the “I see you’s” shared amongst the inspiring women of this retreat simply moved me to tears.
Something new was happening, here. What was different? I still don’t quite know what to make of it…
My hunch is that we simply created a context where we all agreed to be honest with one another for a few days about what we think and how we feel.
For those of you who have already attended a workshop, you might recognize this as status quo for a Radical Honesty gathering. The only difference here was that our focus was on how we relate to one another romantically and sexually. The area of exploration was slightly more focused.
What emerged was astonishing, terrifying, and inspiring.
The ways that we tend to mistreat the ones that we purportedly love the most were brought to the surface, where they could be seen and heard, after a lifetime (or perhaps many millennia) of being repressed, quieted, ignored, and dismissed.
Our use and abuse of power was pointed out, over and over. Our ways of manipulating were exposed, felt, digested.
Some dared to reveal it all and were rewarded with the nurturance of others who identified with their struggles and their pain.
I’m troubled by how poor of a job we do sometimes when we try to love one another, how we create so much pain out of an arrangement which is ostensibly sought after in order to bring us joy and connection.
I am convinced that we desperately need more Radical Honesty in our romantic relationships. To counter-act our tendency to turn sweet love into bitter resentment, our special knack for doing the most damage to the people we hold most dear.
These unfortunate habits of ours can be unlearned, if we only commit to growing honestly together.
This was one of the most touching and inspirational long weekends of my life, and I feel privileged to have been participant to it.
I wish you to experience such deep healing and transformation in your relationships and invite you to come practice at one of our workshops.
Michael Alan Kolb (Mak) is a Senior Radical Honesty Trainer and co-founder of the Radical Honesty Institute and of Cascada Elysiana Eco Retreat Center in Costa Rica. You can find him leading workshops in the US, Europe, and Central America.
Upcoming Workshops led by Mak:
