Radical Honesty at the Workplace?!
Hi friends, Bernie here.
Do you recall how your first radically honest conversation with your romantic partner went?
Challenging, yet liberating?
Maybe you also remember a clearing conversation that you had with your Mom or Dad?
Even more daunting, yet completely worth it (at least, eventually)?
And do you remember that honest conversation you had with your boss at work?
What? It never happened?
Oh, you’re still working away long hours while holding back what’s actually going on for you?
Well, if so, you’re not alone.
Many people I speak to tell me that being radically honest at work is still quite challenging for them.
I hear things like: “Yes, of course, what you do is great – for romantic relationships. For family & friends. Or for saving marriages and raising children. But for work!?! Never!”
Since I began working as a Radical Honesty Trainer, I’ve been very intrigued with how to create those honesty-lovin’, truth-seekin’, vulnerability-allowin’, and heart-connectin’ environments and relationships in the very places where many of us spend 70-80% of our waking days.
How come?
Probably because I had my own fair share of feeling alienated and wrong for having something as “inefficient” as emotions in “professional” work settings.
Nowadays, I judge any workplace environment that has a taboo on expressing emotions to be highly unprofessional.
And I’m convinced: The times in our organizations are a changin’ as well. Not just in our private relationships.
What’s so special about workplaces?
Our workplaces are oftentimes environments where you find a mix of:
Hierarchy and control structures,
Financial and economic dependency, and
(Un)conscious power dynamics and asymmetries
that might leave you at an inner and outer struggle to actually be yourself.
The results can be as devastating as cynicism, bore- and burnout, chronic fatigue or depression. Or as insidious as “business as usual,” playing politics and power games, or sabotaging others’ efforts.
And I’m heartbroken when I hear people telling me such stories. I imagine that to be disheartening for those who are still stuck in those dynamics.
Something else is possible!
I believe that organizations have the potential to be much more.
They are capable of being institutions of adult development (in the best sense of the word).
They can be places of meaningful contribution and connection over joint efforts.
They can be healing communities, unfolding for the common good of us all.
Quite grand, huh? That’s the vision I’m working for. (I notice goosebumps on my arms as I write this.)
And practicing Radical Honesty is one of the keys to us actually getting there.
Calling all revolutionaries!
I worry a little that you’re judging me as a complete nutjob for writing this.
So I want to bolster my case:
Some organizations are already experimenting with cultures and practices that are heading in this direction.
Netflix’s CEO Reed Hastings, for example, wrote a book about his company’s culture called “No Rules Rules.” The book’s marketing slogan: “Hard work is irrelevant. Be radically honest. And never, ever try to please your boss.”
That’s promising. Even though I judge that Netflix’s culture sometimes lacks the emotional and more vulnerable aspect of Radical Honesty.
“Deliberately Developmental Organizations” such as Bridgewater, Nextjump, and Decurion in the U.S. are also making strides in that direction.
Several others that experiment with more agility, more human, more purposeful & conscious ways of working and relating are doing similar things over here in Europe.
Nevertheless, we’re still a minority.
So I want you to get up from your home office chairs!
Express to your team members what you haven’t yet dared to express to them!
Have that conversation with your boss about speaking about the unspeakable!
And if you’re a boss yourself: Show yourself. Fully. Lead by one vulnerable example after the other. Allow yourself to say, “I don’t know” or “I’m the one who fucked that up” or “I’m embarrassed that I didn’t get back to you on that” or whatever else you’ve been withholding from your employees and colleagues.
I judge we need more people in positions of power who can encourage and demonstrate honesty at work. Conscious, honesty-lovin’ leaders.
And we need more people who dare to speak truth to those in power.
If you share my judgments, please get in touch! I’m curious about your Radical Honesty experiences in the workplace if you’ve had any. Also the shitty ones. Would you share them with me?
And Yes, I also lead workshops for teams, leaders, agile coaches, and I want to consult you & your organization to become radically honest if you’re ready and willing.
And work with you personally in my Radical Honesty & Honest Leadership workshops!
Book a free clarity call or drop me a mail.
- Bernie
Bernhard Reingruber is a Certified Radical Honesty Trainer as well as a Leadership Trainer & Coach. He's the founder of Honestlead and offers workshops and programs for open-minded (future) changemakers.
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