On Anger and Co-Dependency
Hello friends, Gabriela here.
It was in autumn 2019 when I found out about the existence of "Radical Honesty". Back then I was in an "it‘s complicated" situation with a man. I wanted a committed relationship. He didn‘t know what he wanted. Not in regards to me, and not in regards to anything in his life. He constantly talked about what he thought his family thinks he should do. Then told me that he doesn‘t want these things. And minutes later came up with some mindfucks about why he should want what his family thinks he should.
I was desperate. Co-dependent. Determined to help him find out what he wanted. Hoping he would find out he wanted to be with me.
I started listening to some TED Talks on YouTube on the topic of self-delusion. The autoplay mode was on. Eventually, Brad Blanton was talking to me about shoulds. His speech was mind-blowing. I thought: "Oh my goodness! I found the cure for HIS suffering. The only thing I need to do now is to make sure HE would come to a retreat with me."
I was sure he wouldn‘t come there if I told him I think he needs this, or that it would be good for him. So, I told him that I absolutely need to go there for my own sake and I want him to join me in order to support my healing. I tried to manipulate him. And guess what: It didn‘t work.
I ended up going to my first Radical Honesty retreat alone. Solely so I didn‘t need to admit that I tried to manipulate him – i.e. that I lied to him. And, I truly thought I didn‘t need a Radical Honesty course for my own sake. I considered myself one of the most honest people on earth. I‘m laughing hard at that now!
During the retreat, and in the years since then, I found out that I was full of shit.
Well, I still judge that I was a pretty honest and self-aware person in some areas of my life – thanks to my awesome hypnotherapist and my psychotherapist...AND I was completely self-delusional when it came to my anger or to my co-dependency patterns.
Until January 2020, I was a hundred percent sure that I was NEVER angry. NEVER! And then during the retreat, I eventually started noticing and slowly finding out about the thousands of ways I was talking myself out of being angry. Mindfucks. Loads of mindfucks.
Radical Honesty Retreat in Finland
Thanks to my trainers and continuous practicing over the last 27 months, I learned how to notice more, how to process anger and other basic emotions. I learned how to stay in touch with my body in situations where I used to freeze and in situations where I used to escape into thinking.
Finding Radical Honesty was a game changer to me. I love where this journey has brought me. And I invite you to join the ride. Meet me at the Summer Retreat in Switzerland this June 9-12 – in German – or find a suiting workshop / retreat in the global event calendar.
Love,
Gabriela
Gabriela Schenker is a Radical Honesty practitioner and a newly-certified Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate living in Switzerland.
Upcoming Workshops Co-led by Gabriela:
