The 5 Levels of Honesty
Hi friends, Tuulia here.
What is honesty?
What does honesty mean to you and what does it look like?
Is it about not lying?
Or telling whatever is important?
Or maybe something else?
Being real? Authentic?
In Radical Honesty, we tend to see honesty more as sharing whatever is important, sharing moment to moment than focusing on technically not lying.
I think sharing openly what is important to us and what we are scared or embarrassed to share creates intimacy and connection.
Brad Blanton, the founder of Radical Honesty, says Radical Honesty is an out loud meditation. It is sharing whatever is alive in you.
And for me, honesty is all about sharing when I feel nervous, ashamed, embarrassed or excited to share.
Sharing openly enables others around me to see me more and get to know me more.
Get to know me more as I am, with all the great stuff and the less great stuff – those things I would rather hide.
At times we also talk about different levels of honesty.
For me they look like this:
The Five Levels of Honesty
Level 1: Revealing the Facts
This could be for example how old you are, what you do for living, how is your relationship with your parents and more.
Level 2: Honesty About Your Thoughts, Sensations and Emotions Moment to Moment
What is true for us is ever changing in terms of thoughts, sensations and emotions.
So we only ever be honest about what we think, feel or notice right now. The rest is memory and many times memories are unreliable.
And why is it important to share about our thoughts, sensations and emotions?
I think a lot about being aware of what is going on with us and then sharing it to others for them to actually know who I am.
Level 3: Honesty About Your Past and Personal History
This one is especially vital in romantic relationships. The more you share, the more your partner knows who you really are rather than who you pretend to be when you show the best side of yourself.
I propose you share things like…
your fears and worries about the relationship
how you screw up in your past relationships and what you have learned
what is a non-negotiable for you in relationships
what you are afraid in this relationship and in past relationships
how many sexual partners have you had and
did you ever cheat on your partner
And so on.
Interesting conversations guaranteed 😉
Level 4: Honesty About Your Patterns and Ways You Sabotage Your Well-being
This one is very useful in my opinion. When you recognize and acknowledge the unhealthy ways of being, you can actually take steps to change things.
When you share with others your ongoing struggles it is no longer ”a dirty secret” – it’s just you being a human being like everyone else.
And other people can support you when you tell them about your challenges.
Level 5: Honesty About Your Dreams, Wishes, Talents and Life Purpose
This can be scary for some!
Many of us are good at sharing our faults, and when it comes to our dreams and talents and how we want to use them, we might get very shy and timid.
I for one was never used to talking about dreams and hopes; that might have appeared proud and making a big deal out of myself.
“Don’t stick out”, I was taught at home.
In case you are curious about the life purpose work that is part of Radical Honesty, check out our upcoming retreats.
You might also like this video I made about telling the truth:
What are the things you struggle to reveal?
Are you willing to share anyway?
Happy summer, sunshine and love,
Tuulia (& Pete)
Tuulia Syvänen is a Certified Radical Honesty Trainer from Finland who has led the most Radical Honesty workshops in Europe. Tuulia organizes and co-leads workshops around Europe with her husband, Pete, as well as coaching and sessions in companies.
Upcoming Workshops led by Tuulia:
