5 minutes for feeling sorry for yourself
Hi Friends, Tuulia here.
Do you sometimes feel just really low and shitty?
Really sorry for yourself?
I definitely do, and I have people around me who do too.
I don’t have long lasting depression, and I do feel down at times.
It is like all seems grey. No fun in sight. Heaviness.
I felt low for a few days earlier in January. I had a headache and my head just felt heavy and full somehow when I woke up. I did not feel so much joy from things I normally really enjoy such as coffee, good food, forest, time in the cabins, or reading books.
For one week I did not see the blue sky, every day was grey and rainy. And of course windy.
I felt sorry for myself: how unpleasant is walking outside in the rain with sharp wind hitting my face. How the sun is hiding from me. How the experience in the cabin would be different only if it did not rain.
Or if I could see sunshine.
If the cabin was warmer and the fire would start easier.
If I could have all the chocolate I want without gaining weight.
If the snow was not melting away and there was no water on top of the ice on the lake which made walking on the ice pretty unpleasant and slushy.
I hear this sound of slush in every step and at times water got into my boots.
Only if…
So why am I sharing all this?
I have two reasons.
One: I don’t want this newsletter to be only about happy times and smiley faces. I’m ok that my Facebook feed is more on the happy side and not the place to share my deeper thoughts and struggles. This letter serves a different purpose.
Two: I want to share this simple method I use to allow myself to really feel sorry for myself.
When I feel sorry for myself and don’t seem to find an easy way out I use the Five Minutes for Feeling Sorry for Myself exercise (can be also called Everything is Shit exercise):
I put a timer on for five minutes and tell myself out loud all the things that are bad, shitty, wrong and going sideways for me. Everything I’m angry and upset about.
During these five minutes I let out all that all that is bugging me and I notice the sensations in my body, I notice my thoughts and I notice my words. When the five minutes is over I shake my body, jump and move. And let all those things go.
If five minutes is too long for you, three minutes is fine. You might want to have a witness to support you.
The main idea is that it is ok and normal to feel down and feel sorry for yourself. We all do it!
It is good to let all the complaints out, give them space to be heard and let them go.
And move afterwards to notice the shift in your body and mind.
*Disclaimer: I don't suffer from long term depression – what some would call clinical depression which prevents you enjoying life for longer periods of time. I am a more anxious type myself.
This exercise is not meant for working on long term depression or for severely depressed people.
I am interested though: are you depressed or have been depressed?
How have you dealt with it?
I wish you a good week – as you are! ❤️
Love,
Tuulia (& Pete)
Tuulia Syvänen is a Senior Certified Radical Honesty Trainer from Finland and a co-founder of the Radical Honesty Institute. Tuulia organizes and co-leads workshops around Europe with her husband, Pete, as well as coaching and sessions for companies. Tuulia has led the most Radical Honesty workshops in Europe, now over 100 and counting.
(Photos by Christoph Fink from the Honesty Gathering, a yearly meeting of RH practitioners hosted by Tuulia & Pete of Honesty Europe.)
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