What I gained from 11 heartbreaks
Greetings, folks.
Tony Cuseo here.
About 7 years ago, I took a Life Planning workshop with Brad and Taber in Virginia.
Ever since, I have spent each November and December working on a “life writeup,” which details my projects and intentions for the coming year.
“Practicing Heartbreak” was my main project for 2024.
My desire was to learn to be with a broken heart — to consciously and intentionally practice loving, grieving, and letting go.
The method by which I chose to practice was through fostering feral cats and kittens.
It is in this way that I have committed the majority of my time and energy for the past 6+ months.
I have found that rather amazing things happen when I put my desires in ink.
On December 31st, the last day of the year, Julie and Skip, a middle-aged couple, came to meet my final pair of fosters.
As of last week, Vulcan and Hod, the two 7-month-old brothers I’ve been caring for the past three months are living in their new home with Skip and Julie.
All told, eleven cats were in my care last year.
And as such, I have had eleven goodbyes. Eleven heartbreaks.
I think of 2024 as the happiest year of my life to date and fostering played a major part in that.
I fell in love, and said farewell, more than I ever have before.
I’ve been interested in grief and loss since my college days.
I took a class my junior year called “The Sociology of Death and Dying” and it changed my life.
That course was the first time I heard anybody speak about grief.
It was also the first time I began to think of grieving as a skill — something I could practice and get better at.
I’ve learned a great deal more about grief since then through classes I’ve taken, rituals I’ve participated in, and in conversations I’ve had with my dear friend and infamous RH practitioner, Geoff Grecynski.
In March, Lindsay and I will lead the first round of a new series called “Grief, Death, and Endings.”
In upcoming newsletters, I’ll talk more about those second two items but for now, I’m going to focus on grief.
As a writer, I like to fuck around with language.
A little turn of phrase I’ve stumbled into recently is this:
Grief Aloud
I like the double meaning created by the homonym — grief aloud/grief allowed.
Both of these are essential, and they are the tenets upon which this series is built.
Simply put, we will get together and allow ourselves, and each other, to express our grief out loud.
Most grieving is done in private, or not at all.
As such, being witnessed in our sorrow can feel confronting. It’s also magical.
I’m not saying that as some sort of sales pitch, and I don’t mean that as ra-ra kumbaya bullshit either.
It has been my experience that grieving in community changes me.
When others are witness to my grief, I reclaim aliveness and vitality I didn’t realize I had lost.
Each session, Lindsay and I will lead you through a series of practices and experiments you’ve likely never tried, all of which are invitations to get in touch with, and then express, your grief.
As always, we will support you in being with the range of sensations and challenges that may arise when you do.
If you take the plunge, you may be surprised at the results.
A handful of losses from your past that you knew were important will show up, of course. But so will many experiences you never imagined.
I suspect that most of us have an immense backlog of un-experienced sorrow from a life full of losses.
This series is a chance to start working through your grief reserves.
And to do so not in the shadows, but out in the open.
Join us for four, 2-hour Zoom calls at 9 am PST; 12 pm EST; 6 pm CET on the following Saturdays:
March 22 & 29
April 5 &19
You can sign up and get more information on the course HERE.
If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me at tony.cuseo@gmail.com.
Tony Cuseo is a Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate who co-leads workshops and practice groups. He also holds certifications in Embodied Counseling and Sexological Bodywork. Tony is passionate about creating art, music, and love.
Upcoming Workshops Co-led by Tony:
