Hi Friends, Tuulia here.

I do not like New Year's resolutions.

I have thought for many years doing a Reflecting and Dreaming exercise instead which has been very useful for me.

Often, a theme for the year emerged.

I feel warm remembering themes like "Freedom", "Go With the Flow" and "Together".

All those feel relevant to me today, too.

This year, I did not feel like doing a major review of last year or impressive visions and plans for this year. (and I admit: I envy a little those people who write eloquent recaps of their year on Facebook and other medias)

What I notice I want is to have a conversation with Pete.

A look into what we learned from last year.

We were walking in the snowy dream-like forest (under -20℃!) and I asked Pete four questions.

I could hear the crunching sound of our steps while we were chatting. ❄️

There were no people.
No cars. No houses.
Just us talking.
Forest around. 🌲

My favorite way to spend my days.

Perfect time for some concentrated conversation.

(We often use our walks for asking questions from different card decks. That leads often to great talks.)

I like the two questions we often ask at the end of a workshop or retreat:

What do you want to leave behind and What do you take with you?

So I asked myself, "What do you leave behind?"

What came to me was trying to do things which are not flowing and coming easy. Things or events that require far more effort and work than other things.

I find it wise to at times acknowledge "for some reason this is not working right now".

Also I concluded that I will not tolerate bullying behaviour towards myself in the way I did at times in the past two years. I want to be a lot faster recognizing what is going on and speaking up and setting a boundary on what and how long I am willing to listen.

My learning is: I can feel compassion and understanding AND I do not need to be willing to listen to everything. I am allowed to set clear boundaries.

I also want to leave behind defensiveness. Sometimes I have a hard time admitting that I was wrong or do not know something.

I also reflected on what I want to leave behind in terms of my relationship with Pete. ❤️

Nothing really came up.

I was thinking of last July when Pete and I decided to leave the ownership of the Radical Honesty Institute and how we struggled personally and professionally at that time. And as a couple.

I came to the realization that I do not want to leave that behind in terms of learning from hard times. Those particular events I want to leave behind and not what we went through together.

We talked and listened. Cried. Yelled. Felt anxious and struggled to sleep.

We searched for help. And we connected to each other while relying on professionals (a business coach and a therapist) and friends to help us together and individually.

What do I take with me?

A lot! Fun, laughter, adventure and definitely time in the forest. 🌳
Hosting retreats in nature and inviting people to our new home & retreat center Syvilla. 🏡
Good coffee and books. ☕️
Friends. 💞

I was also pondering:

What are the three things I want to learn?

One thing I want to learn is how to deeply relax during our sabbatical starting in March and how to carry on that learning when I am back working.

I also want to learn to do more with my hands. I do not so much need to learn new skills or handicrafts but learn to actually pause to do it and nothing else.

I have been darning wool socks during this Christmas break and noticed how much I like seeing the outcome of my work. Something tangible.

What project do I want to embark on (even if not finishing necessarily this year)?

This seems to be for me about what all I want to create in Syvilla in the next years – leading the retreats we are leading now as long as we enjoy them and having new stuff.

For example forest bathing, movement, maybe yoga, wellbeing and women's retreats.
And I do not want to rush with this. I do not need to be clear this year.
I can test out things.

I can take time to learn new stuff and collaborate with others.

I also reflected on What do I want to achieve?

Interestingly, achieving things felt least exciting right now.

And I came to think of one more additional point:
How do I want to feel?

What about you:

What will you leave behind?
What will you take with you from last year?
What do you want to learn?
What project do you want to embark on?
How do you want to feel this year?

I am curious!

If you want to do a more detailed take, check out my annual exercise here.

You might also like this video about planning and dreaming I did some time back.

Happy New Year!

I wish you and all of us Peace, Presence, Love and Happiness!

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete)

P.S.: What about starting your year with honesty?

We are hosting a Free Webinar on Practicing Radical Honesty in Relationships on Thursday, January 18th at 12pm noon EST / 18:00 CET, and you can register here:

And if you're ready for a deep dive, our Radical Honesty 8-Day Intensive in Tenerife, Canary Islands this March 1-9, 2024 has a few spots left! You are welcome as you are: all your joy, anger, doubt, shame, happiness, excitement, boredom, confusion, all of it!

Join truth lovers on this beautiful island, enjoy the beaches and show yourself! More information and register here:

Love,
Tuulia (& Pete)

Tuulia Syvänen is a Certified Radical Honesty Trainer from Finland. She organizes and co-leads workshops around Europe with her husband, Pete, as well as coaching and sessions for companies. Tuulia has led the most Radical Honesty workshops in Europe, now over 100 and counting.

Upcoming Workshops Led by Tuulia:

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