Radical Honesty in Relationships, in the jungle…
Hey folks, Lindsay here.
A few months ago, fellow Radical Honesty trainer, Tony Shawcross, and I facilitated a Relationship Edition of our Radical Honesty Weekend Workshop.
We had an awesome, intimate little group of couples and enjoyed it so much.
I knew that Tony was planning to offer a Radical Honesty in Relationships Retreat in Costa Rica in March of this year, and that he liked the idea of me joining him to co-lead the experience.
I wasn’t sold on the idea, mostly because of the time and effort I know it takes to get to the retreat space, Cascada Elysiana.
After leading our Relationship Edition of the Weekend Workshop, I had a change of heart.
It’s just SO satisfying supporting people in building and maintaining the open and honest relationships they want, and I love being a part of that.
It’s truly an honor, and also really inspiring, and just really fun, too!
I’m making a plan to manage my travel anxiety for the trip, and I’m committed!
Tony and I will be co-leading the Radical Honesty in Relationships Retreat in the mind-blowingly magical setting of Cascada Elysiana in the southern Pacific area of Costa Rica, March 10th-16th!
I’ve been thinking there might be others who are interested in the retreat but have questions.
Maybe you’re curious about what to expect or have concerns about the travel (though, to be honest, that could just be my own projection!).
To make things easier, I decided to create an interview-style newsletter with Tony.
Together, we’ll address some of the questions I imagine you might have about the retreat and the venue.
Why Radical Honesty in Relationships?
Maybe it’s because I’m a little codependent, but to me, the people I have in my life and the relationships I foster with them have more impact on my joy and fulfillment than anything else❤️.
I’d take living in a rusty old shack with wonderful people and a strong community over being in the world’s most lavish mansion alone—or surrounded by people who bring me down.
This workshop is about creating friendships and relationships that align with your core self and your highest self✨.
It’s about building connections that support you in living the life you truly want.
And the only way I’ve found to do that is by being brave enough to fully expose yourself and bring Radical Honesty into your relationships.
What is the main focus of the Radical Honesty in Relationships curriculum?
We spend the first few days focusing only on our subconscious as the foundation for the workshop.
In my experience, few people realize how much of our world-view and our choices are driven by our subconscious programming (hint: almost all).
Most of this programming is formed in early childhood (some of it is even encoded in our genes).
And there’s this thing that happens when hidden parts of our psyche become visible for the first time.
(The only other experiences I’ve had that can compare involved large amounts of psychedelics!✨)
It’s a joy to work with people who are willing to let their defenses down❤️.
When they do, it allows them to see these exiled parts of their psyche and realize just how profoundly their subconscious has been steering the ship of their life—without them even knowing.
This awareness is powerful.
It’s the first step toward being more deliberate about the relationships we choose to foster.🤝
What’s the goal of the workshop? What will I get out of it?
Most of us start hiding parts of ourselves, lying, and withholding as early as childhood.
By the time we’re adults, many of us have never experienced a relationship where we feel fully exposed—where another person truly sees the thoughts and feelings we carry inside.
In this workshop, you’ll learn how decades of practicing dissociation have left you disconnected—not just from others, but from your own authentic thoughts and feelings.
Many of us don’t even realize how much we’ve numbed ourselves.
The workshop provides tools and practices to open up a whole new way of relating to yourself and others.
Those who are brave enough to seize this opportunity often discover a deeper connection to themselves and the people around them—a connection so profound that it makes anything less than Radical Honesty feel unappealing❤️🔥.
What have you witnessed couples taking away from the workshops or coaching they do with you?
From time to time, we get some real workshop junkies at these retreats—people who’ve taken dozens of workshops across the globe.
I always value their feedback because they bring such a wide range of experience from different modalities and programs.
What they often tell me is this: The “special sauce” that Radical Honesty offers, which no other program quite matches, is the transformation it unlocks in romantic relationships. ❤️✨
Most people don’t realize how powerful it can be to fully expose yourself to a loving, accepting witness.
When you experience love that is built on radical honesty and acceptance, it changes you.
Once you’ve tasted a connection like that, you’ll never settle for anything less.
Do most people who come to you for couples work do so because they’re in breakdown/crisis, or because they’re looking for support in building and maintaining open, honest communication?
Most of the couples I work with come to therapy because one or both partners wants me to help them change the other.
It can be disappointing for them to learn that the approach I take is based far more in acceptance than change. ✨
There are workshops and modalities designed to help people make big life changes, but this work is about:
Noticing.
Accepting.
Embracing ourselves and our partners.
And communicating honestly along the way—which, ironically, can lead to pretty radical change.
What’s awesome about Cascada Elysiana as a place in the world and as a retreat space?
When we’re working to build new ways of relating to ourselves and our partners, it’s important to be in a setting that supports new neural pathways.
Cascada Elysiana is deeply connected with the land and nature in a way that few places are.
It’s a space that feels energizing and invigorating, surrounded by fresh air, fresh water, fresh food, and fresh faces 😊.
Even the act of traveling there sets the tone for transformation.
It subtly programs your psyche for a new experience—a new context for investing in yourself and your relationships.
And here’s the best part: you are worth the investment. ❤️
Can people expect intensity and hard work at the retreat, PLUS some relaxation and fun? Or how would you describe how the workshop might be and feel?
The workshop is designed to take you as far as you’re willing and able to go.
There’s nothing more intense than exposing the exiled parts of our psyche to ourselves and others.
When we’re doing that kind of work, it’s equally important to take time and space to relax our nervous systems.
That’s why we’ll be visiting the waterfall, swimming in natural pools 🏞️, and allowing plenty of time for people to connect with nature. ✨
I’ve never had someone leave this workshop feeling they hadn’t experienced profound growth. 🌱
That said, I have received a few complaints about not having enough downtime in the past, so we’ll make sure there’s a good balance this time. 😊
What do you hope participants will experience and get out of the retreat?
I hope they get a taste of how it feels to share themselves with someone more fully (even if just during an exercise with a stranger at the retreat).
Once they feel the power of "Radically Honest" relating, I believe they'll be hooked... and then I'll get to live in a world with more radically honest people.
Why would a solo/single person want to go to this relationship retreat? Could it be awkward for them?
Traditionally, about half of the people who attend this workshop are singles.
Even when you're with a partner, the majority of the work is discovering and accepting yourself in a way that makes it possible to be Radically Honest with another.
Surprisingly, I’ve found that work can be easier for singles who aren’t distracted with thoughts of their partner.
I promise that singles will feel at-home at the retreat, and will leave with a surprising, new and fulfilling relationship to themselves.
Thanks Tony!
Thanks for reading, everyone.
We’ll be back for Part 2 of this interview, when I answer some questions that Tony gives me about the Radical Honesty in Relationships Retreat and the Cascada Elysiana Retreat Center, where I lived for 6 months in 2016 before it was a retreat center!
If this retreat is calling to you and you’ve got some questions to help you get off the fence and make your decision, Tony and I would be so happy to chat with you.
You can email tony@skepticalseekers.com or me, Lindsay, at takerootcoach@gmail.com.
Lindsay St. Antoine is an honesty coach and Radical Honesty Trainer in Denver, Colorado. In addition to providing one-on-one coaching, she also leads in-person and online Radical Honesty workshops.
Upcoming Workshops led by Lindsay:
